The hardest part of the grieving process after losing a pregnancy is the intense feelings of guilt. Wondering what you did wrong, thinking it was your fault. Many thoughts cross the minds of those who have experienced baby loss.
- ‘I was the defective one’.
- ‘It was my body that failed him/her’
- ‘My body couldn’t keep him/her alive’
These are all good reasons why it is so important to remember to be gentle on yourself. Know some days, some weeks and some months will be easier than others.
One of the most common questions I’m asked is, ‘how can I trust my body to keep another baby safe? There are so many causes of baby loss ranging from uterine abnormalities, congenital defects, to infections, and several other reasons that you have absolutely no control over. What’s important to remember is to be kind to your body.
Your body is amazing and not defective.
Walking the journey of baby loss is so painful. It is so hard going into subsequent pregnancies knowing that your body failed you previously and it’s hard to learn how to trust your body and love the process of being pregnant. You are not alone in your pain and grief. There are many women who understand exactly what you’re going through and just how hard it is for you every time.
Grief is mentally, physically and emotionally grueling and the last thing on your mind is putting energy into taking care of yourself. You may not feel like it, but self-care could be one of the most beneficial things you can do during grief and bereavement.Tweet
Holistic perinatal self-care guidance and support over a four-week period lifts the load. It helps make the work it takes to regain a sense of body and self-love easier. Exercising, eating healthy and daily affirmations are all good places to start. But there were core things you need to do to really move forward through these subsequent pregnancies.
Loving yourself and trusting your body again after pregnancy after loss
1. Forgive Yourself
Forgive yourself for what you didn’t know before you knew it. If you had known something that could have made the difference, you would have done it.
2. Allow Yourself to Feel the Negative Emotions
Don’t try to suppress emotions that you perceive to be negative. If you’re finding it hard to process emotions, be in touch to talk to about it. I promise you, you’re not alone.
3. Develop Strong Holistic Self Care Routines & Celebrate Your Body
Self-care is a powerful thing. It’s also one thing you can control. I can’t emphasize enough how much taking a moment to work with someone who specialises in baby loss helps to restore sleep, control ruminating thoughts and restore inner calm. Celebrate all the little things your body can do, be kind to it and access the support it needs to restore to wellness.
About the author: Narelle Stegehuis specialises in holistic perinatal care. Narelle primarily works with those struggling with pregnancy and infant loss, pregnancy after loss, perinatal and postpartum mood and anxiety and postpartum body image concerns. She offers short-term and long-term holistic support and consultation services.